I once dream of bells and gowns. Every girl wishes to be a flower girl. Whenever wedding invitation comes to a family, a young girl hopes to be part of the ‘bridal march’.
I remembered when my sisters and I were invited to be flower girls of my aunt (from the mother’s side), we were happy and elated. I was eight years old then and the eldest among my two sisters. Most of the flowers girls that my aunt got were my cousins and the exchange of vows happened in our province.
We wore maroon laced gown on top of white satin gown that was carefully embroidered and the fresh flower headdress on us felt more that we were the most beautiful girls in the earth. I knew at that the time, I hated being the center of attention. I didn’t like other people taking photos of mine, that’s why most of the pictures I had, I was pouting or looked angry.
After the very lovely and solemn marriage of Tita, I told to myself, someday I also going to have that kind of wedding. It made me believe of loyalty and true love of two people to each other.
Two years after I graduated from college, a close friend of mine got married. She requested me as one of her guests. Her wedding had been the 2nd that I attended since 1997. It was the most heartwarming marriage I ever seen. The bride was singing while having her march and the groom was crying in the altar. It was indeed a wedding that full of love and commitment. Again, I desired that when it will be my time to walk in the aisle, this should everyone feels.
When my cousin from my father side, asked if I could attend a wedding of her which will happen in four months, I immediately said yes. The date and the place were still tentative and she informed me that she would update me as soon it was finalized.
A month after, she messaged me in Facebook telling me that the wedding will be held on May, in our province and I will going to have a role! A mixed emotion came over me. I was jovial, thrilled and nervous at the same time! This is going to be the second wedding that I will be part of the ceremony. It had been 17 years since I was that hopeful flower girl and now I’m going to be a secondary sponsor.
I started preparing for the ‘big day’. It felt like I was the one who is tying the knot when in fact, I was just the one who is assigned to put the veil. I started dieting on March and I was glad to lose nine pounds before April. I didn’t actually see the gown and I asked a seamstress to got my size. I was worried that the gown won’t fit mine that I continued dieting until the day that I went to our province.
It was nostalgic when I saw the gown and the church. Thank God it fitted and my cousins even commented that I looked sexy. The church brought memories when I was a flower girl. It felt different when you were just throwing the flowers and placing the veil.
I was again at the center of every attention as the woman who is still in single in her mid-20’s but this time, I’m not scared of people who were taking photos, I enveloped them as part of life events.